'The Double Minded Man is unstable in all his ways'.

James 1: 8

 

'In the name of God - go'

 

 

No more 'jollies' for Bishop Cooper

'All over now ... babes'

Games up. In Bazzars world skeletons are no longer kept in the cupboard. Instead, they hang from the chandeliers folks !

Former bishop of St David's Carl Cooper of the Church in Wales became so enamoured with his chaplain Rev Mandy Potter that he flung his mitre, wife and kids in order to be with her by night and by day. 

Eventually, following three years of living in sin, gowermaster can reveal , through provincial contacts, that Rev Mandy just couldn't resist running off with another bloke yet again. Wow !!!

We also hear  rumours that  His Darkness, regards this latest episode as being  somewhat  morally repugnant and slightly dishonest, but vows to pray for all those concerned.  

Anglo Catholics 'Credo' are thought to be calling for disciplinary action. They have demanded to know on what grounds of adultery the cricketing mad bishop will be charged. To which Bazzar's Registry has at long last replied : The Lords, Trent Bridge and The Oval.    

As a member of the priesthood of women, soon expected to be ordained bishops, Mandy could well be cautioned and advised, that in future, if it can be tastefully done, she keeps her clothes on.  

Meanwhile, Rev Mandy, is compared to Lot's wife, who, 'Was like unto other women, until Lot turned and gazed at her. Whereas, she became a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night'.

Remember ! This is bazzar's church. You just happen to be in it .

Archbishop of Wales says 'Time to get your hands dirty' (Shouldn't be too difficult your Grace)

'Let your light shine'

His Grace, the Most Reverend Dr Barry Morgan

Primate of all Wales, ( or so he thinks) says this Easter :

'If we are in Christ Jesus, baptised into Him, and raised to new life in Him, then the implications of that are that we too should live out those values of love, forgiveness and compassion in our relationships with one another'.

( How true Barry lad. Pity you suffer selective amnesia)

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Archbishop recommends dirty hands. 

( Shouldn't be too difficult Your Grace) 

The Prize Turnip

Wheeled out for another much awaited ground breaking, mouth watering press release. Morgan the Organ now advocates dirty hands for all church members: http://www.churchinwales.org.uk/structure/bishops/sermonsb/b44.php   20th December 2011.  

By heck lad, thou knowest how to do it so well. Keep taking the tablets.

' Who shall dwell on thy Holy hill'
He who has clean hands, and does not lift his soul to VANITY, or swears deceitfully'. Pslam 24:


Asked if His Grace would have clean hands for Easter, a Church in Wales spokes person said:

'How Archbishop Barry spends Easter is purely a matter for him'

LIBERAL FUNDAMENTALISTS.

Morgan the Organ 

    Attention seeking again ?

'Archbishop of Wales invites protesters' to

                                     at
                    Llandaf  Cathedral 

Providing of course that you keep well away from his residence.

'And the award for the most gushing copy cat, goes  .........( you guessed it). 

Don't you sometimes wish that the vain attention seeking Bazaar would turn on the gas and put us all out of our misery?

Toe curling ambition  being seen and heard. Coupled with incandescent jealousy and rage. Recent media and public interest directed toward the Archbishop of Canterbury for his fair stance on the St Paul's protesters must surely have been too much to bear for the schemer's schemer - Morgan the Organ (donation).   One wonders what next  -  'Strictly come dancing'? 

The fact that he recently felt threatened by his own flock of protesting church  members camping in his garden during the summer months is by now an event which has seemingly been deleted from the schemer's mind. Such was the danger to his personal security, (or was it soul ?) that attendance by the local constabulary was felt necessary. Madness became rampant and now his moral compass has become an ethical trap.

Wouldn't it be novel if he focused, for once, on the proclamation of the Gospel instead of photo-opportunities, as if  some celestial social worker .

By nature he is a true capitalist.  Claims of dialogue renders the province awash with hysterical laughter.  In this present economic climate should he not sack his useless press officer, send his pampered chaplain back to Australia, ( or make him work for his salary) , have his Archdeacon (giggles) along with the Ass Bishop returned by guaranteed delivery, then, to pull himself together, present himself as a father in God, instead of an unelected politician, and stop indulging in his own emotions like an out of work Butlin's redcoat? Will someone tell him to stop taking the tablets - they're not working! 

It seems that he is on a collision course  leaving behind an ugly footprint on the history of the Church in Wales. The title, 'Your Grace', is fast becoming almost  as dead as his credibility. 

Police were called  when church members camped in 'Morgan the Organ Donations' garden



   

 'By Divine Permission'

Of course,  being fluent Welsh, it should be me who will succeed Rowan! .

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In the matter concerning the scandal judges and lawyers of the Provincial Court of the Church in Wales 1997.

'A danger to himself and to the souls of others.' 1997.

'This Court will be what we want it to be.' 1997

'Grievously prejudicial to the welfare of the Church.' 1997

'How long is a piece of string'? 1998

His Honour Michael Evans QC

Did Evan's award himself private fees or expenses?

Batcup -  worrying dispostition

'Sitting along side 'Mad Mike' he looked like a bored lioness. He hardly moved a bone all week. Was he breathing?'

 Far left - Recorder Stuart Batcup QC, personal friend to Dr Rowan Williams far right.

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'No Fee no See'



Cough up  - Lord Martin Thomas QC of Gresford.( Deputy High Court Judge.)

 

Following an ongoing investigation  by Gowermaster into the 'Hysterical Case Review' of the Provincial court of the Church in Wales 1997, we discover serious issues which are of public interest. Evidence to hand, concerning the professional conduct of the above lawyers and members of Her Majesty's Judiciary are as follows:

All three sat and appeared during law term in a publicly held private, domestic, kangaroo court of the Church in Wales. The hearing, for one week alone,which involved Evans, Batcup and Thomas, amounted to £250,000. 

A letter sent to the defendant's solicitor offered financial aid, the equivalent of half legal aid normally paid in criminal cases.

The defence costs of £67,000  covered Solicitor, Barrister and Leading Counsel over a period of 12 months.

How did the Church in Wales justify their own costs being so excessive to compare with the defence? 

How much private fees or expenses did Evans and Batcup award themselves?     

What of the 'False and Corrupt Affidavit', sprung last minute, and denied cross examination by Evans.

Financial Maintenance of a Witness involving Evans, Batcup and the person who brought the charges against the Rector, Archbishop Barry Morgan.

Interfering with a defence Witness by Archbishop Barry Morgan.



The defamatory published document known as the 'Judgment' by Michael Evans and Stuart Batcup, withdrawn from the public domain 2003.

                                           More details when suitable and convenient. 

www.church-insider.com/  'Scandal and Offence'

Morgan The Organ.





I will lift up mine eyes unto the ceiling, from whence cometh my authority
My authority cometh from Him, who hath made heaven, earth and the Governing Body
I shall not suffer, or tolerate thy flat foot to be moved, should thou fall out of line and vote against me
I shall preserve thy going out, coming in,including nominations, only if you - KISS MY RING!

 

Leader of the National Barmy Party - Wales' most senior celestial social worker, pathologist, public lawyer and health expert, caused uproar recently when he said that plans to introduce presumed consent to the organ donation law would turn volunteers into 'conscripts.'

Raglan woman Sarah Griffiths hit out at the Archbishop, and stated it was not an asset to the state but to people's lives and stressed that families would be consulted. Branding his views as 'unchristian' she remarked, 'he must be misinformed.'

Obviously, Mrs Griffiths has not yet heard of the Ecclesiastical Banana Republic of Wales - http://www.church-insider.com/  and the Barry Morgan sucky sucky ploy, of , 'Please Dave, Elysted, Ivor or Martin, get me into the House of Lords'. 

Shame those postal votes never arrived on time!
    

 Only Fools and Horses                         

'Rodney me old son, this time next year

                       you'll be the Archbishop of

                       Canterbury, you old codger!

Followed on Twitter by the official 'Only Fools & Horses Website.'

also - Monkey Cafe & Bar SA1 Swansea

THE  RED  BARON

'I say I say, old chappy, are you a member of the Royal Family or the upper crust and you'd like to learn Welsh? Then ring for our new CD from the Church in Wales office in Cardiff. Ask your butler to do it NOW. 

The Llandaf - B - Attitudes.

  With gratitude for the inspiration of the much loved  Spike Millighan)

'And it came to pass that the Lord led young Bazzar up a mountain, (Malvern)  in a desperate attempt to persuade him to start praying. But the lad was having none of that stuff, so, he ranted instead:

'I declare that there be gay bishops, priests and women bishops of all shape and sizes, or else.  

He was a 'Thinking Anglican' and a liberal through and through, of course.

' What a perfect place to stitch an opponent from the house of  clergy',   he thought to himself.

'From here I will plague my empire, beginning with the Shittites of the north'.

And so, as he prepareth to cross to the north, he took his rod, and did cleanse the very spot, (or what he thought was the place) where a certain Shittite of the north had laid hold his arm on the shoulder of a poor and defenceless harlot of the south. And so, he turned to the Lord, knelt and said in no uncertain liberal manner :

'Bloody hell, its freezing cold up here, are you going to be long? '

But the Lord was having none of it either, and replied :

' I know thy rebellion and stiff neck, it is no better than piles'.   And he said,

'Here',  and handed Bazzar a pack of suppositories, which he duly inserted,

'Now', saith the Lord, call all the elders of the bench, so that I may speak words in their ears, seeing that they are all deaf. And any other diocesan officer, journalist , private detective, phone or e mail hacker within thy works'.

But Bazzar had become his own man, especially since 'Diazepam Dave' had declared him an unelected National political figure. He listened not unto the Lord but sent men out to the north saying to them:

'Go to Shittim the place of the Dayites, Greenites and Williamsites on the east coast of the 'Dark Island' to spy out the land, pretending to look at house prices. There you will lodge with a harlot named Irate, who dwells in a house called Stitch-im, not far from a house named Penbrynshattim'.

And lo, his men had been there a week, but all the spying they did was through key holes and spy cameras. But Bazzar, he did become full of wrath, in fact, he was pigging hopping mad. Fuming he was.

So thus he came unto the harlot:

'Same again?'  she said.

And he was  fuming, even more than the time before, as he hadn't got the time.

'Bring forth the spies that have come unto thee', he said.

But the harlot couldn't afford to lose such good customers, since her music pupils were far and few. 

And so, she lieth:

'They have fled', she said, 'some to Trescawen Hall and the scruffy ones to the Anglesey Arms'.

Although they were really hiding in the hay loft, in between the rafters covered in pigeon poo. 

( Due to the call of nature your Scribe has had to go and relieve herself and consult a copy of Hansards at the same time. Back shortly.)

And Bazzar did summon, (by recorded delivery)  unto himself  one known among the Shittites as the 'Lazy Sleazy Fat Preacher', a stalker by 'day' and also by night ( Get it? - boom boom) - cause he wasn't fuzzy what job they gave him.

Noted for his blinking, bloodshot eye, he carried immense weight in body tissue, stank of much sweat and went down well with Bazzar. Oh aye, do anything he would.

But by now the lazy fat preacher had become old and stricken in years, it was all shrivelled up. So Bazzar did say unto him:

'Thou art old and stricken in years, and it's all shrivelled up. You are not able to catch up with the harlot any more.

'I'm all right with a zimmer',  said the sleazy lazy preacher. So, Bazzar, showed him great compassion and mercy in his old age. He blessed his zimmer and provided him with a younger plumpy little Shittite carer who would be available  to boost his zimmer both by 'day' and by night. (Conditions apply)

And, on the seventh day, when Bazzar's PR got another air brushed photo and article published in the  press ,( vital for his ratings and ego) he was over the moon and said:

'About bloody time and all. Cursed be all blogers and evildoers. Down with Shittites'.  

And Bazzar decided, which was unanimously agreed by the bench, that readings from poet R S Thomas would now be compulsory for all clergy. They would  be included in the Yearly Lectionary for the whole church, as well as the 'Thinking Anglicans Bible',  as  the new revelation and way forward in ordaining gay bishops,  male and female.

And he decided that what he had done was for the common good and unity of the whole Church,(regardless what anybody said or thought )  and he was  pleased with himself. Thus he rested until the next meeting of the GB when  further oracles and mandates of wisdom would  be delivered by one soon to be known among the Taffites as 'Morgan the Organ' .   

(Any image or references to persons contained in this blog, are, of course, purely the figment of the imagination.)

The Scoundrel of Corris.