The Scoundrel of Corris.

Welcome aboard the good ship Fantasy Island everyone.

Calling all Teddy Bears everywhere. The Scoundrel of Corris strikes again, and  suddenly they are all at it in the northern hills of the Church in Wales. Sycophantic, liberal career minded clerics of  the  original Teddy Bear diocese of St Deiniol appear to have turned traditionalists, , for the summer season at least. What a toxic carry on. Liberal against liberal, http://www.ancientbritonpetros.blogspot/  Fury became contagious as Rev Ap Iorweth (following another bad hair day) burnt copies of the Bible, in Church, of all places. Worst still, the much venerated King James..

The offence being nasty there is genuine astonishment according to one concerned church-insider, from within the cloisters of  Fantasy Cathedral  at Bangor, who, of course, did not wish to be named, for fear of his bicycle tyres being put down, (although sources claim he goes by the pseudo name of Mark. Oooh,well hello Mark, naughty,naughty. Archdeacon will need to see you pronto young man).

Peoples feelings are much hurt , such as the good Marquis of Anglesey, not to mention the Rev Professor Horsley the Diocesan Chaplain of Teddy  Bears, http://www.teddyhorsley.com/   and the rest of the liberal 1662 toffs therein. Where on earth is Charles 11 when we need him?

Not surprisingly, without fear of foe, the He Who Dares Wins  and  Pew Filling  Bishop Marlon (sorry-all Emerdale fans)  responded  with a front page Daily Post testosterone packed statement, the launch of yet another damage limitation investigation. God bless 'Grecian 2000' and God Bless the  'Daily Post', (especially page 27 'Classy Lady A55' no with held numbers ).

Should Rector Ap Iorweth be found guilty, ( a mere formality of course) and, pending further directions from His Darkness, fellow clergy from the see of blessed St David  along with the tortured remnants of the house of Bazzar,  suggest the following guidelines as a possible course of action against the scoundrel cleric of the north.

First, that provision within the constitution be invoked whereas the scoundrel Rector of Corris be placed on the naughty step,  directly outside the West Door of Fantasy Cathedral during rush hour. There he may be pelted with donuts by the Dean and Chapter who will sing chants and spiritual songs for Rev Ap's healing and conversion into the holy estate of Teddy Bears  and demand implants be donated from Rev Ap's beard toward the scalp restoration of  the Archdeacon of Meirionydd, www.church-insider.com/  'Scandal and Offence    'Jumpy little fella all psyched up'.

Such swift action, could also give opportunity for an ecclesiastical probe on the offending cleric's DNA when he would be afforded approved legal representation, (essential for all career clerics ) not forgetting, to stand  back to the wall. Cough please!

Secondly, the errant priest complies, (for once) since most usually grovel, in much fear and trepidation, to a much more spiritual type of penance in line with modern thinking. This would take the form of a curt but stern summons in accordance to the spirit of the Blessed Constitution of the Church in Wales, (The thinking Anglicans Bible)  whereby Rev Ap  would appear before the new Dean for failing to attend her inauguration a week last Saturday .

There, ( should he wish to save his own soul,or skin, either way, ) he would do well to emulate the example of  the  Red Baron   ( when welcoming Her Majesty at the Assembly buildings)  presenting himself prostrate similar to a disgraced Fukoshima nuclear engineer. It is thought that Chairman Morgan  and the remaining Muppet's favour this method above all.

A word of caution. Informants of the rugged north tell of much warm widespread public support for the scoundrel Rector of Corris, even among notable public figures,  Whilst there are those who consider Rev Ap's views to be built on shifting sand,  unlike some of his superiors, spineless, invertebrate and a liar, he is not.